I am a fashion obsessed hockey fan. You'll find everything from fashion DOs && DON'Ts, outfit ideas for games for men & women... to hockey posts & player stats all they way down to the basics of Ice Hockey. I am no ace when it comes to ice hockey, which I readily admit. But, I am willing to ask the questions & I will gladly take yours, which I'll do my best to answer. On my own...or with some help. Hey, the only stupid questions...are mine. :)

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Dorothy Was From New Jersey && A Hipster Buffalo Bills Fan

That game, oh that game! Just a whole bunch of awesomeness. So here's a not so brief rundown:
  • I met my friend "Keith" at about 5 at the metro.
  • We argued briefly about who would wear the mohawk hat, it was mine so I obviously won.
  • The metro ride was interesting, not to many Caps fans, a few Red Wings fans from out of town, who looked as if they had never ridden a metro before...that is a lie I mean a D.C. metro before. There was a man in a very fake looking Ovechkin jersey, where the "Weagle" looked more like a Beagle (the dog not the dude). 
  • We arrived at metro center, and Keith was BOUNCING off the walls excited, I've never seen a 30 year old man skip through the city the way he did. We started seeing people walking around with Capital One foam fingers...and thats where it began.
    • Keith asked every person we passed where they got their fingers, or if he could just have their fingers. (Infer what you will...BB Quote O'Day)
    • So we sprint to the Verizon Center and you could just feel it... that happy cappy feeling. 
    • We found the foam finger chick, and I thought we were set ready to go inside...maybe get a drink...nope wrong. So with foam fingers on hand (literally on hand, mine was backwards p.s.) we continued our walk around the outside. 
    • Then Keith started freaking out, I mean FREAKING out: and ran to a red roped area around the green turtle, with some intense Capital One advertising and a man with a camera. Three guys were sitting down, first person I saw was Holden Kushner, (who is hott, who knew), a guy from Japer's Rink, and then there was Rod Langway. It was like Jesus himself had come down I have never in me LIFE seen a man behave the way Keith did. 
    • He ran around the roped area for a while reminding me of one of my sister's Zu Zu Pet's, eventually man with camera looked at me and said what is he doing, and Keith finally decided to get on line.
      • Heres the run down, so they three guys served as a panel where you used your foam hand for a "High Five" for 5x the something bank related, they scored you, and you got a $5 Gift Card from Capital One (free money...!), and then Rod Langway was doing autographs.
      • Keith and I both kind of wished we could have gone inside and gotten a puck or something signed...but alas I will settle for the foam finger he signed for me and the picture he signed for Keith. Rod Langway also said he liked my hat... Of course instigating another, who wears the mohawk hat...once again I won
  •  We walked right into the Verizon Center, I don't know why more people don't use the entrance near Clydes...actually no stick to going in the main doors, so people like me, can walk right in :)
  • We picked up the Caps Breakaway for the game, where I was pleasantly surprised with a nice "poster" of Green.
  • I also bought my traditional pin, which I buy at each game.
  • It was about 6:15 so we had sometime to kill, we checked on the auction items and we walked around a bit then went upstairs to our seats...section 212 (which I forgot EVERYTIME we left our seats, & eventually lead to me getting lost...)
  • Game begins and it is insane! AWESOMELY AMAZING.
    • However the a-holes in front of us spent...roughly the entire first period complaining about how terrible of a player they thought Jeff Scultz was. This guy was just going insane bitching and moaning about what a terrible player he was, anytime Schultz was on the ice was a que for Anti-Schultz to open his big fat mouth.
      • This began to greatly piss of Keith.
        • Heres the thing, you and your entire crew of miscreants, were all in Caps gear, "Rocking the Red" etc. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING SH*T ON PLAYERS ON YOUR TEAM. And your lady friend had skunk hair. It was weird.
          • I get it though, players make silly mistakes etc. John Carlson pisses me off sometimes when he gets flustered and sloppy. See: Stupid Penalties by John Carlson with a preface by Alex Semin. However, I won't sit and bash him during the entire game, I didn't pay to be miserable, I paid to enjoy a hockey game. 
          • So....
      • An argument ensued.
      • Then all I wanted was for a goal from Scultz to shut up the a@#hole in front. ( In his Erskine jersey that still had fold lines in it from being shipped...ick really bro, iron your clothing.)
  • However, Matty P scored and everyone was happy Best Caps Friends again.
    • We scored...and scored...and scored again, and then we scored again plus three more. It was insane. Up, down, up, down. 
      • Side note: After the 6th goal, I said to Keith," I just can't 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...its all your fault anymore." Anit-Schultz turned around and agreed saying, "Now it's just mean..."
        • There you have it the Anti-Schultz has a heart. Maybe a small black one, but a heart none-the-less.
  • So with the game going so well, I couldn't help but think: celebration. Keith had the same thought and we decided Clydes it was...
    • In the words of Keith, "I feel awesome, amazing night." I second, third and fourth that.
      • The end.
  • NOT So here is a list of stupid things I observed and stupid things that happened. A plus/minus rundown.
    • During the game the lady next to me spilled her ENTIRE beer into my marc jacobs bag, and all over my Tory Burchs. -
    • I got completely lost returning to my seat, and missed the first min or so of the third period. I was lucky, in that nothing happened. +
    • There are to many "guys/men" at caps games. Horn Guy & Loud Goat, are legit, I mean Loud Goat is in this months Washingtonian! HELLO. There was once an Astronaut Guy... maybe? Or is he now a Caps Urban Legend?... However Red Man? (We aren't Vancouver who has pretty legit Green Men). Guys in pinstriped suits (We aren't from New Jersey). Tattoo Guy, (is it that really happening?). Whistle Guy (knockoff horn guy). That obnoxious guy in every other section who attempts a C-A-P-S every 3 minutes (stop it). That guy who paints his face red and wears a Cry Baby Jersey, that's awesome and I laugh when I see it so you are allowed. So that evens out to a +
    • FASHION NOTE: Caps Basketball asked why women are now wearing Cowboy boots to games, I didn't not see any, however I do believe it. Ladies... ladies, ladies, ladies do you see any bails of hay? Do you see any cows to wrangle? No? Me neither cowboy boots belong on the farm. Leave them there. -
      • Riding boots are completely acceptable though. +
      • and...FEDORAS. Who designed the Caps fedora and why!? They are affecting men, women and children in the DC Metro area. Please help to raise awareness, and protect people against this terrible disease. -
    • Clydes was packed with Caps fans. +
    • Sam Adams Octoberfest on tap.+
    • Making random conversation with strangers. +
    • Playing the conversation game where you make up what people are saying across the room, because you can't hear them and they are making silly facial expressions. +
    • Keith stealing my hat, and getting compliments on it...-
    • Drunk lady.-
      • Drunk lady needing to be walked to the ladies room.-
      • Drunk lady calling me Dorothy.-
      • Drunk lady asking me if I killed her sister and stole her shoes.+
        • Drunk lady being convinced she was living the Wizard of Oz.+
      • Drunk lady trying to pull off all of the bird pictures in Clydes calling them her babies, and her pretties... ...+
      • Drunk lady drinking the martini left in the ladies room...- big -
    • Keith and I walking Drunk Lady to Metro Center so she got home safe. Moral +
    • Drunken Hipsters on the Metro asking me, "ARE YOU A BILLS FAN?" +
      • My reply being, "Yes, Go Bills."While blatantly wearing a CAPS hat and scarf. +
    • The "Nothing Fight" Detroit couple, who sat in silence with each other with nothing but death stares. +
      • meanwhile: I am looking at them whilst doing the "7-0" a-hole sneeze :) double +
    • Keith and I realizing how much our bar tab was vs. what it should have been, realizing THE CAPS ARE 7-0, the Detroit Troll could officially SUCK IT, my hat is a HUGE crowd pleaser, we met Rod Langway, and last but not least I did not get nearly as drunk as Drunk Lady...+++
    • So...over all I think I have like a +10. In NHL standards for this game, I did pretty damn good.

Sorry it took so long. 
xoxo alanna. or dorothy.

That's me in the middle. (The Wizard of Oz)
My Dorothy inspired nail polish :) @slgroff.
What's Your Poison @sephora $9.50

1 comment:

  1. Love the polish!!!! and cute stories! sorry about the beer lady i would have died